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    08 May

    送小憨

          从昨天晚上到现在,我的头脑中装的全是小憨,那只4月29号才来到我们寝室的可爱小狗狗,才两个月大身长仅30厘米的小狗狗,全身雪白的乖巧的小狗狗……
         
          后悔自己昨晚带它出去“散步”,怨恨自己开寝室门的时候没有把它看好,要不然小憨也不会跑到栏杆缝隙处摔下楼去……
         
          想着看到小憨的最后一面,是它挤处栏杆是的一团小小的白色,忽然间消失在眼前,继而便是很沉闷的一声响,小憨从四楼掉下去了,当时的我呆了,真的呆了……等我到楼下时,小憨没有一点动静,以为它已经去了。可慢慢地,小憨开始抽搐,痛苦地,做最后的挣扎……小心翼翼地把它带回寝室,不停地叫着小憨的名字,“乖乖,不要睡,千万不要睡”,“乖乖,坚强些”,慌忙地给宠物医院打电话,咨询着一切情况,医生说小憨可能是摔着头了,可能没什么希望了。听医生说着一切,我不愿相信。可当我放下电话回到小憨身边时,它已经去了,再也听不到我们唤它的声音……
        
         不愿再想起小憨掉下楼时的样子,可每次看到楼梯却又马上出现在眼前
         不愿再提起小憨去的时候的样子,可总是不停地出现在脑海中
        
          我知道,在小憨走的时候,它一定很痛苦,到最后那充血的眼睛都没有闭上,它肯定很留念这个世界,仅仅到来两个月的世界;它还想看到它的“亲妈”,只与它才待了两天的“亲妈”……
         
          我内疚,我难过,可肯定比不得失去小憨的亲亲,她是最难过的。虽然在我们面前她镇定自如,还反过来安慰我不要难过,把内心最最痛隐藏起来。可是我又能做些什么呢,对于我这个已经内疚得要死的人来说,我不敢去安慰她,只能尽量避免再提到小憨,只能寄希望于时间的流逝,慢慢地忘却,慢慢地复原……
        
          我永远都会记住,袖珍的,全身雪白的,走路屁颠屁颠的,喜欢舔人脚丫子的乖乖,小憨

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